Rape

The recent rape in Delhi has shaken the psyche of the nation due to its sheer grotesque and inhuman brutality. The fact that man can reach such abysmal pits is unbelievable even though all of us have heard and read about it for the last few days. That the perpetrators need to be punished in the harshest of manner is indisputable.

There has been uproar on this issue and the nation seems to be united on this single issue. It is heartening to see people coming together and asking for changes in law, stricter vigil and faster judicial process. The underlying assumption being that all this and more will lead to lesser crimes of this nature and act as a big deterrent.

Is this the only way of eliminating rape – by deterrence? Are we to believe that people will not rape, only because of the police vigil and fear of harsh punishment? Is this the solution?

For the immediate purpose – yes.

But shouldn’t there be a different and a longer-lasting solution for this?

Rape has to be seen as an issue of our eroding cultural value-system. When boys from a young age see the double standards of their parents – worshipping goddesses on one hand, and wife-beating and discrimination against the girl-child on the other, he is bound to be confused. He carries this confusion till he reaches the age when he starts teasing girls and gets away with it. Soon he starts thinking that a woman is just like his underwear, which can be used to hide his sickness of uncontrollable libido. He has grown up seeing his father and men around him humiliating and taking women for granted, so that must be the way it is if not a sign of manly behaviour. Occasional visits to a temple of some Devi, should be enough to overcome a few guilt-pangs, if at all.

It’s time to relook on how India treats its sons. It’s time to teach them the difference between boys/men and dogs. It is imperative to inculcate in him the respect for women-kind, not just his mother and sister, which he does. What women should wear is not for him to decide and when they should go out and with whom, is not for him to declare. He has to be taught to control his sexual urge and that it is not the same as his urge to urinate whenever and wherever he wants to. This is different. He does not have the divine or the societal approval and nor can he decide to take up cause of ‘upholding the great Indian tradition’ which has never taught rape and ill-treatment towards woman. He also needs to be taught that rejection by a single woman does not imply rejection by the entire womankind and the rejection has to be taken in his stride instead of going violent towards women in general.

This respect and empathy has to start early and parents have a huge task on hand. Rape is not an illness; it is the sheer lack of respect for a woman and a complete disdain for woman’s individuality and her self-respect. Rape is just a manifestations of the crimes perpetrated towards women, besides battering, acid-attacks, slashing of faces, burning, butchering, etc.

Don’t rely on law because it has its own compulsions in our country. Law can only be a deterrent; it can’t usher in a renaissance – that is our responsibility as a society, or rather as a sane and a civilised society.

Just do it!

Vulnerability

All of us in life have vulnerability – something that is a weak spot in our life. It could be ones character trait, or a liking for something material or person, or anything, but everybody has vulnerability or vulnerable zones.

Mythology has exemplified this vulnerability into a weak spot for many a mythical hero, which ends up as a cause for destruction. Let us see some of these vulnerabilities which led to their nemesis.

One of the first that comes to my mind is Achilles Heel, which is synonymous to the phrase ‘weak spot’. To say that someone has an Achilles Heel is to imply that the person has a weak spot or a major vulnerability.

Achilles was the son of a mortal father and the nymph Thetis. Thetis was very beautiful and had attracted Zeus, the King of gods. But, then he came to know about a prophesy, that the child of Thetis would be far greater than his father, and Zeus was not interested in losing his position. One by one, all the gods lost interest in her and she had to settle down for a mortal by the name of King Peleus. When Achilles was born, in a bid to ensure that her son would be immortal, Thetis dipped the baby Achilles in the River Styx. This made Achilles invulnerable, except for the place where Thetis’s fingers had gripped him while dipping, which was his heel. Thus his heel was mortal enough to strike a deadly blow during the Trojan War. Achilles was killed by an arrow by Paris, which was divinely guided to Achilles’ heel.

Thetis dipping Achilles in River Styx- Painting by Ruben

In Mahabharat too we have many such examples. Towards the end of the war of Kurukshetra, when the Kauravas were suffering heavy casualties, Gandhari sent word to Duryodhan to come and see him without wearing any clothes before the crack of dawn. She would open her blindfold from her eyes, which had immense power due to her piousness and fidelity, and her glance would make him invulnerable to any weapons whatsoever.

When Duryodhan was on his way, he was stopped by Krishna, who ridiculed him for allowing his mother to see a grown-up male without any clothes and that too for the first time, since Gandhari had not seen any of her sons. Being chastised he decided to cover himself below the belt with a banana leaf. When Gandhari opened her blindfold, the power of her eyes made Duryodhan’s entire body invulnerable, except for his thighs. Later, during a duel, Bhima hits Duryodhan on his thighs, leading to Duryodhan’s death.

The above are examples of physical vulnerability. But there are many instances where we find examples of non-physical weaknesses in man’s life.

An interesting example is that of the Jewish hero, Sampson. Sampson was chosen by God to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines who were occupying the land and oppressing Israel. To enable him in his mission, God had granted him immense power and this power resided in his hair. As Sampson grew up, he started falling for prostitutes and they soon became his weakness. In one such moment of weakness, he fell in love with a harlot, by the name of Delilah. Delilah was paid by the Philistines to learn the secret of his heavenly strength, and Sampson who was not supposed to reveal this to anybody, committed the cardinal sin of telling it to Delilah. Soon, Delilah put Sampson to sleep and later shaved his head. When Sampson woke up, he was given to the Philistines, who blinded him and put him in prison. It is said that Sampson’s, weakness for women, made him immensely vulnerable and there are many an instance when he lands in problem, and sways from his heavenly duty.

Delilah shaving Sampson's hair while he was asleep

In Mahabharata, we find many examples of non-physical weaknesses in man’s life. Karna was known for his charity. The cause of charity was so great for him, that he even decided to give his body armour (kavach) when asked for making him vulnerable to attacks in the forthcoming war of Kurukshetra, the time when he would have needed it the most. Dhritarashtra’s weakness was his son, Duryodhan, Yudhistir’s weakness was the game of dice and Bhima’s weakness was food and each of them had paid a heavy price for not being able to conquer their weakness. 

A man’s (for that matter, woman’s too!) Achilles Heel can be anything – sex, alcohol, drugs, woman, anger, arrogance, greed, selfishness, laziness, procrastination, etc. There is no end to the vulnerabilities that we are surrounded by in life. It is important to understand and recognise them. One should be aware of what is ones weakness, not like Sampson, who did not know that his weakness for women would get him into trouble or like Yudhistir, whose ‘innocent’ love for gambling led him to lose everything again and again. Ignorance of one’s weakness or not accepting the same, both can lead to grave situations.

Now that you know all about vulnerabilities……what is your Achilles Heel?

Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child

The recent case of an Indian couple put behind bars in Norway, for beating their child, has set the debate on the relevance of spanking by parents out in the open, once again. Sometime back, spanking by teachers was discussed feverishly and soon banned after a few instances of spanked (and abused in a few cases) children committing suicides.

But spanking by parents? How can this be seen as gross abuse?

In India, disciplining through spanking or beating is de rigueur and has been seen from time immemorial. If all of us have been brought up on the stories of motherly love that Yashoda had for the child Krishna, then we are also aware of the pranks the child played and how he was publicly punished by getting his ears pulled or physically tied to tree trunks. These punitive measures were seen only as a mode of discipline and not an abuse. Not once has anybody felt that the love between the mother-child could have suffered a blow due to such measures and that Lord Krishna could have grown a disturbed young man!

Another very evocative and provocative depiction of disciplining a child is that of Venus chastising her prankish son, Cupid. According to a myth, once Cupid, who was the son of Venus, makes his mother fall in love with Mars, the god of war. Venus was caught by the gods and ridiculed for doing this and in retaliation, Venus is seen chastising Cupid. This has been the subject of many Renaissance painters, like the one given along, which is by Jean-Marc Nattier, titled Venus Chastising Cupid, dated 1717. Not all such paintings evoke the mother’s wrath, so beautifully. Many other painters have depicted the incident differently where it is Mars spanking Cupid’s bare body with much anger and rage that actually disturbs the viewer. (For obvious reasons, I have not shown the said painting)

Samuel Butler (17^th century English poet) is credited with coining the well known adage ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ in his poem, “Hudibras”. I don’t know his source of inspiration, but the King James Version of Book of Proverbs (Bible), has a few proverbs which could give us some clue –

• "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." (Proverbs 13:24) 
• "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:14)  &  
• "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." (Proverbs 29:15)

Indians seem to agree with the Biblical view of discipline and it is seen as a means of expressing ones concern for the child and its future. The colonial hang-up of disciplining by ‘hammering’ has stayed on even when the Colonial bosses have moved back and changed. Convent schools till about a decade back resorted to disciplining by caning and public flogging and how much scars they left on the heart/mind is not known to me, but yes they sure did leave a few on the posterior, besides acting as a major deterrent to the alleged acts of transgression that the students would have committed.

The above can be summed up in one single proverb – 'If you love your children you will correct them; if you don't love them, you won't correct them' (Proverbs 13:24)

So am I a votary of spanking children? Heavens, No! (that too not on Internet!!!!) – No…..read my keyboard N, O, NO!

I am strictly against raising a hand, leave aside raising a cane, lest my child end up raising Cain! Times have changed just as means of child-rearing has. Just as reusable cotton nappies have given way to diapers so has methods of discipline. No more can spanking be used as a means of discipline, as modern psychologists will tell you that it would leave a life-long scar on the infant’s mind. So today, we seek the help of counselors and their ilk. Physical punishments have to be given way to depriving them of child-benefits (didn’t have them when I was a child!). New terminology like ‘time-outs’, ‘grounding’ and ‘non-punitive measures’ are doing the rounds. Good to understand then in details, than end up behind bars!!

Surprisingly our parents (and theirs) had more children and fewer troubles, while we have fewer children but more troubles. Is the nuclear family, dual-income couples, less time with children, lack of siblings, screen-fetish, etc. to be blamed? I don’t know. That’s for the subject matter experts to tell you. But no harm in sparing the child and letting the rod rust, and still hope to make a man out of your little devil! Or better still, move with the times and explore the modern means of disciplining ones children. The only saving grace is, today’s parents have lesser number to chastise!!

On conclusion, I can’t help but imagine the condition of some of the mythological mothers if they lived in modern times, viz. Yashoda, Kunti and above all, Gandhari!!

Thank god for the mythological times, they seem to have got away with everything……just about everything!!!!

Queen of Madurai

Last time we read about a Greek fertility goddess with multiple breasts. We conclude our series of “Goddesses with difference” today with a similar goddess from India, who has nothing to do with fertility as is the popular connotations with similar gods, seen earlier.

According to a legend, King Malayadhwaja of Madurai and her consort Kanchanmala were unable to have children. Once while they were conducting a Putra-kameshti yagna to appease the gods, a three year old child came out of the flames and sat on the lap of Kanchanmala. The girl was actually Goddess Parvati who was answering Kanchanmala’s prayers of a similar boon she had sought in her last birth. The child had three breasts, seeing which the King was a bit disappointed.

Statue inside the Temple

When the King was feeling sad for having such a daughter, they heard a divine voice which advised them to bring up the daughter like a prince and give her all the training due to a prince, and as and when she casts her eyes on the man, she would marry; the third breast would disappear. The voice also advised them to name the child Tadatagai, meaning, one with irresistible valour. Since the child had fish-like eyes, she was also called Meenakshi. She grew up to be a beautiful woman and a brave warrior. On the death of the King Malayadhwaja, she was appointed the ruler of the Kingdom. After winning many a war, around her region, she embarked on to Mount Kailash, the abode of Lord Shiva. There she managed to vanquish all opposition, till she came face to face with Lord Shiva and as prophesied, she fell in love with him and her third breast was absorbed. 

A beautifully carved idol of the goddess can be seen in the Madurai Meenakshi Amman temple close to the modern day Madurai, in Tamil Nadu, Chennai.

Shiva then directed Meenakshi to return home and that he would join her in eight days, when both were married off by Lord Vishnu. According to Sthala Purana, both Shiva and Meenakshi ruled over Madurai for many years as mortals.

Vishnu getting Shiva and Meenakshi married as seen in the temple premises

The reference to the Meenakshi Amman, the goddess is not depicted as a fertility goddess. This goes on to show that the genesis of this story lies elsewhere. Was it some sort of a deformity on the child born to the King and thus weaving such an elaborate myth around it? Or was it taking a more sympathetic view on children who were born freak? Or was it just something that the sculptor was trying to say to the mortals of future?

Ancient wisdom had its own manifestation, which might seem awkward to a sanitised and scientific mind of the 21^st century. But way back, when gods did play an important role in child-birth, the matter was viewed as a divine blessing and not to be cast aside at an orphanage or used as a part of a freak-show for amassing wealth. The myths have their own message and when seen straight, the message is so obvious.

One doesn’t always need a prism to see the seven colours, once you know the existence of it. Or do we?

If anybody has come across any such deity from other cultures, please free to send in the details. 

Pic Courtesy -

paliakara.blogspot.in

Wikipedia