New Year Resolutions

It’s once again that time of the year, when we make New Year resolutions, especially to break them within a few days and tell one and all, how we took the resolutions and broke it too. Each tries to outdo, in the number of days s/he took to break the resolution, the lesser the self-styled winner! Now I know what Bob Dylan meant when he wrote “The Times they are a-Changin”!

But let’s see how the practice of making New Year resolutions started. The tradition of making New Year resolutions began way back by the ancient Babylonians. They felt that it was a good idea to start the New Year by returning items borrowed from each other. It gave one an opportunity to turn into a new leaf and begin the year with a clear conscious. This gave rise to the modern day practice of making New Year Resolutions.

No, I did not make any resolution, as I think it’s a bad habit to break resolutions, but not making a resolution, is not one!

·         I don’t need to kick the habit of smoking or drinking; rather I have friends who would want me to resolve to take up drinking, at least party-drinking some say!

·         I don’t need to reduce weight, so there’s nothing to resolve there.

·         I go for morning walks, quite regularly, so what do I resolve for, to be irregular?

·         I don’t borrow anything from anybody, except from Banks, and they know how to get it back from me. Their headache, not mine!

After all the good habits that I have, the following are the resolutions my wife wants me to take, and she gave me a list. ME, can you beat that?

¹        Resolve to talk less – and then do what?

¹        Resolve to see my inadequacy as one, rather than make a virtue out of it – I wonder what she means by this??

¹        Resolve to worry less and take life easily – Gosh, and I haven’t even told her that the world might come to an end in 2012.

¹        Resolve to do some household chore – I think she meant some more! Whoever tried to satisfy a woman is a failure, ask me!

¹        Resolve to go for a vacation sometime – 52 weekends of malls, movies, hotels, restaurants, rest, chill out (at home), phew! is not enough? Repeat the above comment about satisfying women!

¹        Resolve to be more social and meet people – you mean at their homes? Invade people’s privacy?

¹        Resolve to be a bit religious – a bit? Now that’s a bitter pill!

With so many changes that she wants out of me, I might turn into a ‘new’ and ‘improved’ version of the nice old me! I wonder why I feel like a detergent soap! But then she also said that she loved me the way I was! What a contradiction!

I am truly flummoxed and have no clue if I should continue with my old good habit of not taking any resolutions, or should I try out my wife’s list? Anybody out there, willing to help me?

My wife’s friends and well-wishers are not eligible for sending in their suggestions!!